WALA: writing stories that other people want to read
Hare and Tortise’s race
In the middle of the day in the local park. Hare and Tortise were having a race. The small solitary Tortise was plodding along around the bend.”I might have a chance” Thought Tortise with a little smile.
In the distance, the thin little figure of an orangey hare speed around the corner.
Because Hare was so far in the lead and Tortise was so far behind, hare decided to have a nap, so that's what he did beside a cozy tree trunk.”I have time for a nap” thought Hare with a yawn. Little did he know that out
of the blue...Tortise ran past Hare with a little chuckle.”I’m gonna win”whispered Tortise with a little laugh. Hare woke with a yawn and started to pick up his pace. At his surprise around the corner Hare sore a figure… Tortise!!!
Tortise just smiled as he leaned on the finish post watching Hare’s face drop.”I won, I won, I won” though Tortise happlie.”Noooo” yelled Hare
By Jess B
I really like your use of vocabulary Jess, it adds interest, and I get the sense that something is going to happen that the characters didn't plan on.
ReplyDeleteRemember the way speech marks are used.
Miss J